I couldn’t even begin to tell you how my mom has done it. She raised
seven smart, strong-willed (aka bull headed), fiercely independent
children. Nineteen years separated the oldest and youngest. My mom
had an amazing partner in my Dad. And they were always consistent,
always on the same team. But it was the Queen in my mother that
influenced my own life, in ways no one else did or could.
In the early 70s, she opened her own business (albeit her business
card had to have “Mrs.” In front of her name to give it an air of
legitimacy – insert eye roll) She is kind and good and gracious and
although there are so many times she should have snatched me up
and yelled at me – she didn’t. It was always during the worst times in
life, I realized how fortunate I was to have a mother like mine. She
was never my friend growing up – she was my mother, my parent.
She demanded respect for herself and insisted that I always show my
father the respect he had earned. She enforced rules of proper
language, prayer, bedtimes and homework.
Through most of my 20s I made mistakes and had my priorities all
askew and probably drove her crazy. But she was always there. She
was always there to help put the pieces back together, even when
she and I both knew, it was my fault they were broken in the first
When I was four, and thought I was an adult, she would smile softly
at my bossiness to my little brother and my dislike for children my
own age, because according to me they were “just little kids”
At seven, she would laugh about my teacher moving my desk,
because I thought we were co-teachers and it was distracting….to the
At 12, I was deathly afraid of thunder and she wouldn’t say a word,
when I would sneak in to sleep on my parents floor. She would just
reach down and hold my hand until I fell asleep.
She comforted me when I struggled to make friends in my new
She held me while I cried during my first heartbreak. She stayed with
me when I was too sick to get out of bed.
When I moved out at 19, she came to my apartment and cleaned it
from top to bottom and set things up the way things were done at
home, so I wouldn’t be as homesick.
Her face is there, at the turn of each page, of each new chapter of my
So many times, I have let my mother down. I have made choices she
didn’t agree with, decisions she frowned upon. And worst of all, I let
her (and my Dad) slip to second or third or fourth priority while I tried
to make something of myself in the world, as an independent woman,
an entrepreneur. But the word ‘disappointment’ never left her lips.
I could go on forever about how amazing my Mama is. She makes
me crazy sometimes. And she is far from perfect, but she is my mom.
And if I am fortunate, I will be half the woman she is someday. She
handles herself with such grace and poise and charm that I can only
hope for the same kind of respect she commands.
Why is this included in this blog about Queens? Because that woman
is the definition of a Queen. And she showed me, sometimes forced
me to recognize, my potential to be the same. Both on the business
field and off.
If you have a Queen as a mother, remember to show her the respect
and love and adoration she deserves. And if you are a Queen, raising
the next generation of Queens – remember they are always watching.
You have no idea, the effect you will have on that little girl’s life. Every
girl, has a relationship with her Dad that is usually pretty special. But
it’s the Mama’s job, the Queen’s job, to show her how she should
handle herself, how she should behave in situations. It is the Queen,
who demonstrates and set the standards of how a little Queen will
advance in the world. And it is the Queen’s job to teach her little
Queen, to love herself, exactly the way she is. To be confident in her
abilities. To never be afraid to take a risk, take a leap. To be proud of
where she comes from and excited for where she is going.
After all, one day she will raise a little Queen, herself.